My first time

My first sexual experience happened when I was very young.  To be honest I can’t say with any great security how old I was but I am sure it was a young age simply because those are the years when the events I know happened coincide with what I remember.   It was normal in my family for us to have other family members to stay, this happened quite a lot and normally meant us doubling up in our rooms to allow everyone a bed.  This I always saw as something normal even though it sometimes meant sharing a bed with some of my more repellent cousins and sometimes even with boys.  This particular summer my aunt came to stay and with her came her only daughter. 



My cousin Jessica was around fifteen at the time and wheras I was still a little girl, still dressed with childish clothes, still dressed according to my Mother’s taste, she had made the change from being a girl to being an adolescent.  She dressed as she wanted to, plus my aunt was much more permissive than my Mother ever was.  She used to wear mini-skirts and short tops, she wore make-up and looked sexy.  Jessica had always been one of my most popular cousins, I used to look forward to her coming to stay as she had taught me many things about life, she had often acted as the older sister I had never had.  She had told me about bras, about make up, about music and boys.  Lots of things.  We would normally be up till very early in the morning talking and laughing in my room and I remember my Mother always regarded us with a disapproving glare when we would get up late the next day having been talking all night long.  My aunt, on the other hand, would just wave away my Mother’s disapproval avowing, “they’re only young.”

This particular year when Jessica and I finally found ourselves in bed the first night of their week long stay with us I was especially impatient to say goodnight to everyone and finally shut out the world when I shut my door as Jessica had been dropping hints to me all day about what she had to tell me that night.  Apart from the hints she had said nothing specific and I was dying from curiosity when we finally collapsed on my bed together.  We had both changed into our night things, this for me was a summer pyjama of light cotton shorts with a short sleeved top and for her was a pair of knickers and a tiny T-shirt with straps.  Such was the difference between us that my pyjamas had Barbie stamped all over them!  Together on the bed we chatted and chatted, she lay down staring at the ceiling and I sat cross legged by her side.  Finally my impatience got the better of me and I grabbed her wrist and excitedly told her to stop mucking around and tell me what she had been hinting at all day.  She smiled up at me and pulled herself up to lean on one elbow, “well,” she said.  “I have a new boyfriend.”  I snorted, “that’s all?”  I said, after all she had a new boyfriend every two weeks or so.  She insisted, however, that this time this one was different.  The difference she told me was that now her boyfriend was twenty years old.  “Twenty?!”  I exclaimed.  How on earth had she started going out with someone so much older than her.  She told me the whole story, the guy in question was part of the football team her brother was then playing in.  As her brother was really good he was playing in the local first team even though he was only seventeen.  He had taken Jessica to a party organised by the team and there she had met Arnau.  One thing had led to the other and, without her brother knowing, they had started to go out.  She told me all about him and I was more than a little jealous, he sounded gorgeous.  At the same time though I got the feeling that this wasn’t the real news.  When she had talked herself out on the subject of Arnau she fell silent but still looked coy.  “Ok,” I said, “what gives, what’s the real news?”  Finally she confessed the real scandal, her and Arnau, together were... well... doing it.  And not just it, she said, apparently Arnau had introduced her into a whole new world of sex and passion.  While she talked about this she was almost hugging herself in excitement and the way she talked it was obvious that the whole thing was amazing for her.  I was stunned, after all she was only fifteen.  “So,” I asked, “what’s it like?” 

She tried to tell me about the feelings a sexual relationship entailed, we had talked about boys before but only really in the context of attracting or provoking them.  She had told me about other boyfriends of hers that had kissed her but when she had told me about them she had never seemed so passionate about it.  She told me about how Arnau kissed her, how he touched her, how he had put his fingers inside her, to me it was all very shocking.  At the same time it was also really quite puzzling.  I had felt “things” before, I had liked reading certain passages in some of the books we had at home and I had imagined things but I had never done anything about it.  I had never touched myself or been touched by anyone else.  As she told me about these things she seemed alight, the whole subject seemed to have made her excited, she was flushed and chatted and gesticulated and went on and on.  I must have missed the point.  When she told me about how he had put his “thing” inside her, I guess my face must have given me away.  “It isn’t terrible,” she assured me.  “I wanted him to do it and it was fantastic.”  “Yeah sure,” I replied unconvinced.  She stopped talking and stared at me quizzicaly.  After a pause she leaned across and placed her hand over mine, “do you want to understand?”  She asked me.  “Do you want to know what I felt and why I let him do it?”  She was looking intently into my eyes.  I nodded dumbly.  “Ok,” she said.  “Tomorrow night I will show you.”  She smiled at me mischeviously and I smiled back though in reality I had no idea what on earth she meant.

The next day she kept up her mysterious behaviour and had me totally bewildered.  In the morning we went to the beach but in the afternoon we stayed at home as she wanted us to do some “beauty treatments”, or at least this is what she told our parents.  We stayed in and spent the whole afternoon and evening bathing, washing our hair, doing our nails (well hers as mine were all bitten).  She made me up and got me to try on her clothes.  We had a great time doing a fashion show for each other and other silly things.  Finally in the evening after we had had our meal we said goodnight to every one, went back into my room and again shut out the world. 

Once the door had closed she was all business, she turned out the main light and left only the side light next to my bed.  Then we started to change into our pyjamas, well I thought about putting on mine, she normally slept in knickers and a t-shirt.  We both started undressing but when I alrady had my pyjamas in my hand she stopped me and pulled me to stand next to her.  We stood side by side in front of the mirror on the door of my wardrobe  so we could see ourselves.  Physically she was a little taller than me, but not much, and generally had a fuller figure.  She had curves where I was all angles.  I had small round breasts that had only just filled the cup of her bras she had let me try and which were a little larger for her fuller rounder breasts.  We were both slim but she had hips wheras I didn’t really.  We both stared into the mirror at ourselves.  We were both women in the making, children still.  But at the same time I remember then thinking I looked different, that I looked older that when I had really last looked at myself.  She encouraged me to pose and pout and to try out different looks and other provocative movements.  We laughed at our own stupidity. 

Then she moved behind me and held my hands with hers crossed across my stomach.  She was looking over my left shoulder and she said, “Now I am going to show you.”  I looked nervous, even to myself, but she was smiling.  She told me to look at myself, to look at myself and imagine what a boy would look at, to imagine what she could see.  I tried, I looked at myself and tried to see myself with different eyes.  As I obviously still didn’t get it Jessica decided to explain.  She ran her hands up to my face, “you are beautiful,” she told me.  “You look like you could be a model in the future.”  Then she ran her hands down over my shoulders to my waist, “you’re slim and sexy,” she said.  She slid her hands down over my hips to the top of my thighs, “you’ve got lovely long slim legs,” I didn’t know what to think about the things she was telling me, I wanted to giggle but something in her expression as she said these things stopped me. 

“When I am with Arnau we kiss,” she explained, “but we don’t kiss like I used to do with the other boys, with Arnau it is different, I feel different.”  Jessica had explained the mechanics of kissing to me before but it had all seemed faintly ridiculous and really quite disgusting to me.  Truth to tell though at around that time my curiosity had begun to win over my sense of disgust.  She gently turned me so that we were facing each other side on to the mirror.  “When we kiss we mean it.”  She took hold of both sides of my face and leaned in towards me, as her face got closer she closed her eyes and her red lips parted, I suddenly realised what she meant, what she was going to do.  Her warm lips covered mine, they felt soft.  She pressed them against mine and I felt the velvel point of her tongue touch against my lips, she pressed further and the point of her tongue slid delicately into my mouth, I was surprised though I had heard of this.  My own lips opened slightly as I accepted her kiss instinctively.  Her tongue touched mine inside my mouth and slid over and around mine.  The sensation was startling, electric and a bit shocking.  Now I realise how sensual it felt, what I felt then I didn’t recognise as desire.  I ventured a movement with my own tongue and this seemed to redouble her own efforts, before I realised what we were doing we were kissing passionately.  Her lips were rubbing over mine, her tongue invading my mouth.  We moved apart only enough to change the angle of our faces and then to kiss again.  Curious I tried to put my tongue into her mouth as she was doing with me.  She let me and I was amazed at the sensations of deep kissing someone.  Without thinking I had also closed my eyes but then I opened them again and twisting slightly I was able to see us in the mirror as we kissed.  Our bodies were close, her hands still cupped my face, mine were on her hips.  Our mouths writhed over each other.  I could glimpse first her then my own tongue as they slid over each other.  The sight made me feel hot, excited, naughty... deliciously naughty.  Jessica pulled away from me, “did you feel that?” She asked, “how did that feel?”  I stumbled over my words, I blushed, I was already blushing.  Seeing me so tongue tied and blushing so furiously she surmised, “you felt it, you really did.”  That feeling, she said, was what she had when Arnau kissed her.  But that, she went on to tell me, was only the start.  “Arnau taught me how to kiss with my whole body” she said.  With our faces so close she now took her hands away from my face and placed them on my hips.  We stood there a mirror image of each other, “now like this,” she grinned and she pulled me up against her.  I could feel her skin on mine, her thighs against mine, the skin of her breasts against the skin of my cleavage, the hardness of her nipples against me.  She captured my mouth once again with hers in another session of passionate kissing.  This time with her body pressed up against mine the whole experience was more intense, more pleasureable, more exciting.  I could feel her move against me, she pushed her hips against me, she pulled my groin into hers with her hands.  I felt the hardness of her pubis push against mine, it felt strange but exciting at the same time.  Her tongue was hot and wet and seemed to fill my mouth.  I could feel her saliva on and around my mouth or maybe it was my own it was hard to tell.  The whole kiss was wilder, sexier, wetter.  Her body against mine heightened all of the sensations and made my head spin.  When she finally let me go I was panting.  To my surprise so was she.  Her face was also flushed and her eyes seemed enormous.  Her lips were parted and wet with our saliva.  She looked dishevelled in a sexy way.  Her smile came back.  “Do you want to know more?”  She asked me.  “Arnau does other things to me and has taught me other things that are even better.”  I dropped my eyes from her, ashamed at the instant “yes” that escaped me before I had even really thought about it.  She smiled even more. 

She pulled me close again but this time when she kissed me her kisses were light and delicate.  She played as she kissed me, now kissing my lips, now kissing my face, now caressing my lips with her tongue.  Her eyes remained fixed on mine as she reached out to me.  We had seen each other naked often but in this context even I knew that our nakedness was different and what it meant was going to be different too.  “With Arnau,” she breathed into my ear, “by the time he tried to do this I was dying for him to do so.  With you we have to go a little faster.”  She pulled me towards her and I felt her nipples against my skin and my own against hers.  She pulled me in against her so our breasts rubbed over each other.  She moved back slightly and asked me, “does that feel good?”.  I again looked down, ashamed but also excited.  The first touch of my nipples against her skin had been electric.  They had hardened quickly and at the same time I was acutely aware of the the touch of her nipples against me.  We embraced again, my head on her shoulders.  I again glanced at us in the mirror, my gaze coincided with hers, she was watching me just like I was watching her. 

She broke our embrace and pushed me away a little, “now, I love it when he does this to me,” she said.  I was asking myself what “this” was when holding my eyes with hers she reached up and gently placed her hands over my breasts.  I felt every finger, every callous, every contour of her hand.  I also felt how my own body responded to her touch.  My nipples started to tingle, I began to feel even hotter, a sort of a rush, excited.  My nipples got harder and she opened her fingers and rubbed the palms of her hands across them.  Her touch made me flinch away from the flush of pleasure that swept over me, it felt so intense that I almost tried to catch her hands to stop her touching me.  The conflict of emotions must have been reflected in my face as she smiled at my reaction.  Then she changed her palms for the tips of her fingers, the lightest touches send stabs of excitement lancing through my body.  She caressed, then brushed my sensitive nipples.  She squeezed them lightly and flicked them too.  I could feel my legs trembling, a nerve had started to jump in my right thigh and my eye lids felt heavy.  I half closed my eyes and concentrated on the sensations.  I heard Jessica move so I opened my eyes again to see the top of her head as she lowered it... “Oh God!” I exclaimed as I felt her hot wet mouth close over the nipple of my right breast, my hands came up to embrace her shoulders as she gently sucked on my nipple.  Then I felt the tip of her tongue start to circle my nipple held prisoner in her mouth.  I was being consumed, my breasts felt heavier and fuller, paths of pleasure felt as if they had been burned into me, I felt hot all over, I was flushed.  I seemed to have an internal fire that burned hottest in my nipples and between my thighs.  She switched from my right breast to the left one and redoubled her efforts.  Her right hand on my right nipple now copied the actions of her tongue on my left.  She used the saliva she had left on my skin to lubricate the motions of her fingers.  My sex felt as if it was burning and I was jumping around under every flick and pinch.  I must have even pushed her away slightly with my hands as she suddenly broke off, “do you want me to stop?”  She asked me.  She looked puzzled.  “No, no, yes... I don’t know.”  I answered her.  “Jess you are killing me.”  A naughty expression swept her doubt away and she smiled wickedly, “good isn’t it.”  Then she noticed me trembling and turned me round till the edge of the bed was just behind my calves.  She took hold of my shoulders and pressed me down till I was sitting on the bed.  I was looking up at her, a little girl look of entreaty on my face.  “Don’t worry,” she said, “I haven’t stopped, in fact, it is about to get better.”  Better?  How on earth could it get any better? 

Standing in front of me she held her arms up behind her head.  Her own nipples were hard like mine.  She looked down at me expectantly, I immediately knew what she was waiting for.  I reached up a hand but hesitated, “do you want to... you know, touch me too?”  Jess asked.  “You can if you want, if you would like to.”  I did but it needed all my courage to touch her.  I had never ever thought about if I should touch Jess, we had always been very intimate physically, with few taboos.  But now it was different, my touch now, I knew, would be intimate and sexual.  I reached up and placed my hands over her breasts.  They felt warm, soft and firm.  I felt the hard points of her nipples in my palms so, like she had done with me, I rolled them around under my palms.  She bit her lip as she watched me do this.  I carried on, repeating the things she had done with me, when it came to pinching her nipples I was delicate as she had been with me but she suddenly whispered to me “harder, pinch them hard.”  I stopped but then pinched her nipples harder, she moaned in response and closed her eyes, obviously she enjoyed the treatment.  I pinched them again, also a little harder and she quivered.  Then sitting up straight I took hold of her hips and pulled her towards me a little, changing my hands to her upper arms I made her bend down over my slightly till one of her nipples was just infront of my face, I shyly opened my mouth and then closed it over her hard nipple.  It is hard to say what I was expecting, it had no particular taste but felt hot and urgent in my mouth.  I sucked on it like a baby pulling her nipple into my mouth.  She moaned quietly again.  Then I tried flicking my tongue around her nipple and she moaned again.  I found her responses to what I did as intoxicating as the feelings she had provoked in me.  Every time I did something to her excited nipples her whole body tensed and writhed.  I changed from one nipple to the other and brought up my hands to cup her breasts.  I went on with this for a couple of minutes and was surprised when, in a hushed voice, she urged me on saying, “harder, suck them harder.  Bite them a little, go on.”  Her voice sounded husky, different.  I gave a long hard suck on one and she moaned again even pulling away from me a little.  This made me pull away but she reached out and pulled my head back towards her breasts.  This made me understand that she pulled away because of the intensity of the pleasure not from pain.  I tried the same on her other breast and she pulled away again.  This I liked.  Now I tried biting her nipples, this made me nervous but when I did it she froze her hands knotted in my hair.  I bit a little, sucked a little, then when I bit the other one I pulled on it slightly with my teeth.  She seemed to explode, shaking and moaning.  Her reactions were making me feel hot, excited, but then she stopped.  She pulled me off her breasts and fell to her knees at the foot of my bed between my legs.  She had her hands on my knees and her head down. 

I was initially worried, “Jess?  Are you ok?”  She looked up, her face flushed and a slight sheen of sweat on her forehead.  “Are you kidding?  My God you are a natural at this, better than Arnau!”  This made me giggle and look away, “did you really like it?”  I asked.  She smiled at me and nodded.  “Just as much as you did,” she said with a wicked smile.  She knelt up and then climbed up onto the bed pushing me flat.  She flopped down next to me on my right side.  “Now, now I have recovered we can carry on.”  More?  I thought.  Oh my God what else could she be going to show me. 

“I want you to lie still  and let me do everything,” she said.  We lay side by side looking at each other, our faces close.  She turned onto her left side and kept looking intently into my eyes.  She placed her right hand on my right breast again and absently played with my nipple exciting me again.  “When I am with Arnau he touches me like this but, he also touches me there.  You know, down there.  As she said this her hand snaked down my stomach.  “When he did this to me we were kissing and stuff and then he pushed his hand down the front of my jeans,” she smiled at the memory, “I almost freaked out it was such a surprise.”  Her hand stopped just below my navel and her fingers danced a fingertip dance on my skin there.  Her eyes were alight and dancing, “he was really quite rough and it was good that I was wet when he did it, if not it might have hurt.”  When he did what I thought.  Then I realised what she was talking about.  Fingering I had heard of but it had always seemed something really dirty, something done to the real sluts.  “I am going to make sure you are nice and wet,” Jess told me, “then it won’t hurt you at all.”  Her hand flattened onto my skin and pushed downwards.  “Jess I don’t know,” I said.  “Shhhhh,” she answered.  “Trust me.”  Of course I do, and I did.  I bit my bottom lip as her hand got to the few hairs I had down there, I am still almost bald today.  My sex is hairy but my pubis isn’t.  I felt her fingers slide into the hair on my pubis.  I had my legs clenched together instinctively.  Her fingers came to my clenched thighs and she pouted at me, “ohh you don’t want to play?  Hang on, I can tell anyway even if you don’t want me to.”  Saying this she pushed one finger into the juncture of my thighs and my sex.  It slid down along the line of my sex.  As much as I clenched my thighs I couldn’t stop her.  I lifted my knees up but suddenly I felt my own flesh part under her finger’s pressure.  Suddenly I gasped as she was able to wriggle her finger inbetween the lips of my sex.  “Mmmmm you are wet,” she breathed at me.  So you do want to play.”  The sensations of her hard finger swimming around the wet lips of my sex were intoxicating.  She pushed her finger up and down lubricating the skin of my thighs and then suddenly hooked her finger into me.  I jumped my whole body reacting to her touch.  “Come on, open up,” she breathed at me still staring my me intensely.  “Haven’t you done this yourself?”  I shook my head, I hadn’t, it had never ocurred to me.  “Relax and open your legs and then I can play properly.”  I lowered my legs back down to the bed and then relaxed the muscles in my thighs.  With less pressure on her finger she was able to slip down two fingers to run them over my wetness.  “Just a little more, come on please.”  She urged me.  I seperated my knees and allowed her complete access to me.  Just this made me feel so naughty, naughty now I know is a childish way of saying it.  Wanton would be more appropriate but then all I felt was encredibly and wonderfully naughty.  Jess was smiling broadly at me.  “Arnau doesn’t do this to me, he is a lot rougher.  This is what I do to myself,” Jess told me.  She was now running her wet fingers up and down me, I felt them slipping along and around the lips of my sex.  Every few strokes she dipped a fingertip a little bit inside me making me jump.  I was starting to lose track with all the sensations her fingers were provoking.  She shifted next to me but I hardly noticed until I felt her mouth close over my right nipple.  She sucked it into her mouth urgently.  The rush of feeling made me arch my back up off the bed.  I heard her chuckle.  With her new position, inclined over me, she placed her left hand beneath the nape of my neck and pulled my head up to receive a deep longing kiss.  “Now brace yourself, “ she said.  My eyes opened and I looked down my body.  She was again with her mouth hovering over my nipple but her right arm was now angled in towards me.  I felt her busy fingers flick into me again, seperating my lips.  Then with a slow but steady push she inserted one of her fingers into the passage of my vagina.  I again bucked against her but her left hand held onto the back of my neck and her mouth on my breast and, obviously, her right hand with its finger inside me kept me in check.  She laughed again wickedly.  I was really alarmed at first, I had heard about hymens at school and how doing things like this could hurt but Jess slid her finger in and out of me with no pain to me at all.  She set a rhythm and her finger felt enormous to me.  It filled me and yet entered me so easily. 

My excitement grew to new limits and I was breathing hard.  She moved her left hand away from my neck and must have supported herself on it as she transfered her exciting mouth to my left breast and nipple.  I felt that I must have wet myself completely, my sex was all heat and sensations and wetness.  I could hear her finger squelching as she pumped it into me.  My hands came up and instinctively clutched at her head and shoulder.  Suddenly I couldn’t keep still either I was wriggling and jumping, pawing at her and saying, “oooh Jess, please, oh god,” and all sorts of stuff like that.  I seemed to be about to explode, the pressure of all the sensations was filling me, swamping me.  I couldn’t keep still and Jess was having a hard time keeping hold of me.  Finally I couldn’t take it any longer and I had to beg her to stop.  Of course she didn’t at first, torturing me by just going a little slower and then faster again.  Finally though I managed to convince her and she took her finger out of me and flopped back down next to me again.  I was panting, I felt like I had run a race.  She was lying next to me her head up on one hand grinning at me stupidly.  “My God Jess, that is...” I didn’t know really what to say.  “Great isn’t it.”  She said emphatically.  My breathing started to slow, “when you are feeling better perhaps you could do the same for me?”  She asked.  “God yes,” I answered immediately.  “Then tomorrow I will show you another new thing.”  “Damn Jess what else can there be?” I asked.  She smiled at me, reached out and ran a wet slimy finger round my nipple making me shiver.  “Well,” she drawled.  She ran the finger down me again to my sex, this time I opened my legs without her needing to ask but instead of slipping her finger into me she ran it delicately to the top of my sex.  “This is something I don’t think Arnau knows about,” she said, “this I discovered all on my own.”  Then she slipped her finger into the fold of skin where my lips started and gave a delicate rub, I almost bounced off the bed.  I had no idea what she had touched but it burnt, well not burnt but seemed to give me a flash of pleasure of great intensity that at first I didn’t know what to think.  She smiled at me even more, “you are going to love this even more,” she said.